Theres a Hound Dog in my Bed

My dog's name is Admiral. A year ago he was a lucky, thankful rescue who was glad to stay a place to stay. Now he is the jerk who spends his day in my bed. Admiral is a foxhound. He looks like a 90lb beagle. From the minute we brought him home he showed a fondness for a good place to sleep. He started out on a folded up comforter that was upgraded to 8 inch thick padding. He earned a upstairs bed quickly because he likes to come up with us a night. We take care of this dog!
Around two months ago he started a movement- a revolution if you will. You see Admiral wants to sleep in our bed. For all you dog lovers...No, he may not sleep with me. My boyfriend and I are big people we just get by in our queen. Admiral does not share well or smell good. I swear his accommodations are luxurious.
He used two methods in his plan. The first half was sneaky and subversive and obvious- He simply gets in the bed when we're gone and gets off when he hears the cars. This one was hard to prove but it didn't matter anyway. Eventually he took his cause to the people. In the middle of the night he struck. This big goof jumped right up in the bed and defiantly stands there daring anyone to argue. He was ready to fight on this. Hunkering down in the center of the bed, wrestling away from us. I am not the type who does well with this stuff after 11:00pm. It makes me cry and yell and feel like "why me?"
I did not give in. Oh no, I did not give Admiral my bed and no I didn't give him the guest bed- the one I know he also used when we forgot to close the door. Instead I got him his own bed. A real bed. In my defense it was cheap and on EBay. I got him a toddlers bed. It is mahogany stained with a head rail and foot rail and has a decent mattress. My Mom cried when she saw it; she's now that much further from grandchildren. At first it was real cute, Admiral acted shy, like he was confused by the thought of a dog on furniture. As he settled in I could a certain smugness as he thought to himself that he had won. I felt a little beaten, I admit it. His bed is nice and it is sad that I don't have kids yet. My mom told everyone and people called to ask if I "had really bought the dog a bed."
But old revolutionaries never quite lose their will to fight.
In the last few days Admiral has taken up the cause again. At 1:00 Saturday morning he struck again! Full of piss and vinegar he jumped on to the bed and tried to make his demands. Of course I yelled and wrestled him down in my underwear. But why why why?